parsley sage rosemary thyme

I want to permanately straighten my hair and dip dye my ends brown.

So I can look sexy again l!k3 d1$

define: Melancholic

I didn't do well. I'm already dreading the results.

The day started pretty crappily because when you go into the testing room, you're supposed to bring your proof of identification and your admission ticket. And I didn't realize this until everyone was filling out their Answer sheets with their name, date, numbers and shiz. And I literally freaked out with a mini heart attack. And the asian lady wouldn't let me out. So basically, when we started the test, I had to run out of the room and get my admission ticket. Sounds easy? Well, it's not. There were soo many fucking bags outside and I wore my $2 Cotton On bag with the bird on it which EVERY SINGLE CONFORMIST HAS. And so I spent like 54938504 minutes searching for my bag and retrieving the darned admission ticket and running with break neck speed back into the testing room. This resulted in me in not finishing section 1.

I did not fucking finish section 1.
I'm not kidding/exaggerating. I guessed the last EIGHT FUCKING QUESTIONS!! EIGHT!!!! So yeah...

Okay, section 2. This is usually my best section and I can usually finish heaps early. But I did bad. I know I did bad. With section 2, you think you do good... and you do do good. If you think you did bad, than you probably did do bad. And I think I did bad. I think section 3 was probably the best. But I'm still soo nervous about it. I couldn't do about ten of the questions.

Overall, it was shit. I'm preparing for the worst. But please, oh some divine being up there, please please please let me pass all sections. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee!

this is beautiful (source: tumblr)

I went home and had a little cry with mum. She was suprisingly chill about it but underneath she was both disappointed and bitter. I think she was acting nice only for my sake because she could tell that I was genuinely distressed. Fuck. I can't believe my whole future is basically decided on this exam. Well, the easy way to a good future. I'm going to try for Bond. Sadly, I don't even know if I can get in.

expectations

<< Est. '10 When I thought I was cool

Okay, the UMAT is fast approaching. It seems not soon enough yet at the same time too soon. I'm not doing well. Mum is suprisingly blasé about it, yet hidden underneath that exterior, I know she's disappointed. I guess, I'd rather anger than disappointment because when she's angry, I can usually fight back with little qualms. But when she's disappointed in me, I can feel my stomach sinking and my palms grow cold with guilt.

Please give me strength, luck and drive on Wednesday. Please.

bane

I wrote this a while ago...

Okay, this is what I got on Thursday. So I got that floppy felt black hat from Jeanswest for only $20 (sister paid). It was discounted and I tried to see how much it was beforehand but I accidentally ripped the original price, reuslting in an obscure figure of $_4.99. Thus, in order to make myself feel better about saving money, I'm going to pretend it was originally $34.99. Okay, the second item is the stockings with the dots in them. Orginally, I was going to get the tattoo ones from Sportsgirl but I decided to purchase these from Big W. Guess how much? Ten freaking dollars. So expensive. Yet my sister paid. It was maddening because I went to Jeanswest later to discover they were only $8. Asdfghjkl;. The third item is the darker coloured knit sweater, I got it with my own money (suprise) in the city at Paperscissors. It used to be $34.99 and I purchased it for $15.99! Yet, it was still expensive in my eyes. Okay, lastly I got the off the shoulder rust coloured knit sweater dress for $79.95. My sister obviously paid for that. And she got one for herself as well. So all in all, she spent $110 on me. She is honestly the most amazing (and richest) sister I could ever ask for. I want to buy her a Herve Leger dress one day. Because she won't shut up about his dresses. I will.

Side note: We also bought my dad a shirt from Jeanswest. It's part of a Godfather T-shirt series and it's got a picture of 'The Don.' Hilarious. I don't think he'll ever wear it.

resolve

Academic Summary:
Suprisingly, probably for the first time in history, my parents weren't forthrightly mad at my results. Perhaps, disappointed but not outright angry. I guess, the reason for this is, I didn't do badly yet I didn't do great or as well as I hoped. It is true that if I were still at State High and I attained these results, I would be stressing, under constant onslaught of fury from mother and just plain disheartened. Even so, I hope to God that my school does well in QCS.
Accounting
There was a time where I thought that I could perhaps even top this subject. That time has obviously passed. I couldn't even get an A grade. I was graded with A+ on the assignment and B+ in the exam, all assesment pieces in Accounting amount to the same. Yet because this subject is different in a way I can't really explain, it is cummulative. Thus, this semester I achieved A B+ B+ meaning an overall of B+. If I don't get all As next semester, I will not be guaranteed an overall of an A. Period.
Biology
Okay, last year I was horrible at Biology. I got B-s and the occasional C+. Yet, this year has entirely turned around for me. My biology teacher recently told me I'm in the top 20 of Biology students and I'm on to go on an excursion to the Queensland Institute of Medical Research along with nineteen other girls. I was speechless. In a good way. Even so, my grades aren't even amazing, leading me to believe I'm probably in the latter half of this top twenty: A A A-
Chemistry
Last year I did so well in Chemistry, it was my favourite subject. And then in term one, I got my results back and I got A- C+ B+. I think I died. Upon reading those results. I was in shock and I was so fucking sad that I felt numb. Yet, in term two I resolved to work that much harder and it has paid off. For the extended experimental investigation, I got A+ A+ A+. Bringing my semester overall for Chemistry to A- A- A+
English
I try so hard. And in term two, I finally cracked into the A grade but my overall is still a B+. On the three assesment pieces of semester one, I achieved B+, B++ and A. This brings my overall, according to the teacher, to an A- however, she said some bull**** about the machine processing this as a B+. Thus, on my report card, it appears as a B+
Information Technology
I regret choosing this subject; it is time consuming, not good for my OP and stressful. There's too much work and I don't even know why I chose this subject. Despite all these misgivings, I'm doing quite well. This semester overall is A- A A
Mathematics B
First term I did well. I was shocked and pleasantly suprised because I actually cried after the first exam. Yet, I managed to get straight As. Second term, I did shithouse. I walked out of the exam, knowing I did shit. I didn't cry this time, even though I was so close, and mum kept giving me false hope like 'Remember in term one when you cried but you managed to get an A?' But this time, I knew like I actually knew, I wouldn't get an A. I was right. To my disappointment I got A B B+. However, there was also an assignment, I'm unsure as to how much an assignment is worth but I got A A A-. Therefore, thankfully, my overall is A A- A-

bleak

UMATing in SLQ

The past two days have been tumultuous. I've been happy, devastated, hopeful, angry as well as being a complete bitch to all within my immediate family. All this, because ever since I left the TSxpo, I've been angry at myself. Asking all these different universities, the perequisites, the figures of how many applicants and successful applicants they receive, the OP requirement and the ideal UMAT score, has made me realize how foolish my dreams are. All my hopes and wishes and daydreams seem to be nothing, out of my reach, impossible. And I don't know what to do. My UMATs not improving. I don't know if I have the will to maintain and improve my grades. I have no back-up plan.

Waste away. Or rise and take control.

hey monday

Monday was, despite it being a Monday, fun. Monday signals the beginning of another long week, the first day of school, but in these holidays, it just means laziness and excitement intermingled. Yeah, that didn't make sense. Eurghh, school starts soon. Which means UMAT is almost here on my doorstep.
  

We decided to bake and finish our LOTR marathon. We arranged to meet at 10am and as usual, everyone was late, heh. We rented the last movie, Return of the King, because we weren't in the mood for dodgy pirated copies. We also rented Sleeping Beauty, despite Joe's protests of TOY STORY THREEEEE. We shopped at Aldi for some lollies, had a late breakfast/late lunch at Mos Burgers. I had the rice burger with Yakinuki? I think.

We went into Coles and purchased our ingredients, we wandered into the fruit section and I was like "Eww, why are we getting apples? I don't want healthy food. I want junk food." And then there was silence, in which we burst out laughing because Joe pointed out that were making apple pie, APPLE pie. So that was an awkward blonde moment for me there. We also got microwave popcorn, chips, self-raising flower and cookie dough, just to name a few items. Did I mention that she has the cutest ever cat!! But she bullies it and it hated us, nevertheless is was adorable!

And we casually walked home with a trolley (so illegal) and died from the enormity of these houses (ie. the photo abovebovebove). We watched LOTR and in the meanwhile, made our apple pies. WE MADE OUR OWN PASTRY. Like no joke, we made our own pastry!! We rolled it, kneaded it, shaped it, hit it you name it. And while we were waiting, we also made the cookies (albeit from cookie dough) and they were really nice. We decorated our pies with Harry Potter scars, in appreciation for the last ever Harry Potter movie coming out!! They're going to make remakes of Harry when we're older but we'll be like 'Nahh, we were there for the original. It's our generation!' Moving on, once the pies were cooked, we were amazed. It was soo freaking delicious. I know everyone says that about their own cooking, but I'm not even exaggerating (much), it was absolutely mouth-watering. We should be on Masterchef. Who knew Joe could cook...

As you can see, we also made a mini mutant pie. We were just about to watch Sleeping Beauty and because LOTR was 192 minutes, we decided to have dinner. Yes, we eat alot. We went out to the line of shops opposite Time Square and had Korean hot pot. Holy shit, it was really yummy although rather spicey. But I intend to go back. Afterwards, we felt like an adventure and went to Market Square. It was dark, freezing cold and we were laughing like maniacs because of Slutines attire. She was wearing too big converse, a maxi skirt, leggings, thirty layers and her senior jersey. She kept trying, in vain, to tuck her skirt into her jersey in that she looked preggers. Later, we went back home and watched Sleeping Beauty. Sighs. If only some of that were real.

 

And then at around 8.30ish, I get a call from sister dearest informing me that my report card had arrived!! I proceeded to discover that my parents had not waited for me and opened my report card. But what did I expect? It's mum, of course she'd do that. So we chatted a bit and sister was like, 'Oh yeah, Supernatural's on!' and I was like, 'SLDKFJLKSDF CHANGE THE CHANNEL.' So we all stayed a while to watch Supernatural until one of us had to leave. So we ran to drop her off so we wouldn't miss much of Supernatural. And we went back home all puffed out and shebang. So Supernatural finished and I was about to make the call to get picked up, when I realized TEEN WOLF was on. Alas, it wasn't screening so I left at around 10ish. I'm glad her relatives didn't get visibly annoyed that I'd stayed there for such a long time.

I will blog about my report card soon enough.

always

 

I saw the last Harry Potter movie on the day it came out, the 13th of July 2011. And I need to say, it is the best movie out of the lot. The queue for this movie was astonishing, people were piling up towards Funhouse!! We didn't really see the point of lining up because the seats are allocated, heh. There were quite a few dress-ups. Tickets were pricey at $19 as they were pre-booked and in 3D. We filled up the back row and the seats were leather? I think. The movie took forever to start, soo many advertisements. And then it started.

It was just... amazing. So dramatic. Hilarious lines. Touching scenes. Asddfghjkl:D
But when it finished, it was just... Like you lost something. We all watched the very first movie in grade 1. I remember, I saw it with my afterschool care holiday program in Carindale. And now, the very last movie was seen in grade 12. We've grown up with Harry Potter. And now that it's gone... it just feels weird. It's feel like the end of our childhood.

Best lines:
"Not my daughter, you bitch!"
"Yeah, we lost Harry tonight. But he's still with us... in here"
"Piertotum Locomotor!! I've always wanted to use that spell"
"After all this time?" "Always."

stardust

When we look into the stars, we are looking into the past.

At first, I was sceptical but after further research it's true! Yet in hindsight, it does make sense.

Since the nearest stars are billions, perhaps even trillions of light years away, the light of the star that we see when we look into the night sky at this very moment, originated billions and trillions of years ago. Therefore, it is possible that the stars that are seen at this very moment mayhap burnt out and what we are seeing, is an illusion of a universe that may no longer exist. In other terms, because by the time the light eminating from a star is reached by our eyes, the occurence that is being viewed happened millions of years ago. Although their radience twinkles, these same stars might in fact be no more than dully glowing embers or they might no longer exist.

To look into space is to look back into time. When we look into the sky beyond the sky, we look into the deeps of time.

This also leads to a belief that we are fashioned from stardust. Joni Mitchell once sang We are stardust; we are golden. We are billion year old carbon. This implies that we are made of the same elements that stars are made of. Old stars die, new stars are born. The death of a star gives rise to life, for it is the dying stars, the supernovae, that manufacture all the heavy elements. Living stars make sulphur, and the iron that reddens our blood, and the calcium from which our bones are reconstructed and the salts that propel impulses along the paths of our body. From dying stars, the issue of silver and cobalt, aresenic and iridium, copper and zinc. The energies of the universe remix them into infant stars, new worlds perhaps galaxies, plants and living creatues. Supernovae are our forebears. We are all made of stardust.

Such is I

 This no joke happened in the space of 10 minutes. Seriously?!?!
And what is it that... pamn? Pomn? Porn?!

even so

I haven't camwhored in a while. Ahh what am I saying? Even so, the above depicts the outfit I wore on Tuesday when we went over to my friend's house to have a LOTR marathon!! I never realized the extent of my LOTR nerdiness when I could unfailingly quote some lines from the movie. We only managed to watch the first two movies since my pirated copies were the extended uncut version. Heh, since it was from China the language switched from English to Chinese. First, it was amusing as we cheered everytime it changed to English yet afterwhile it became tedious. Later, we had dinner at Sizzler where we spied a hot asian guy working there and we strived to get a closer look. We journeyed to the Sizzler in Toombul, thus meaning I got home at around 10.30pm

Let's see on Monday (yes, this isn't in chronological order), I met up with my long lost friends! I haven't properly conversed with them in too long. It was really good, we went hunting for formal dresses for a friend and just general chatter. It was good, relaxing and exciting. We are going to go to Sydney. SYDNEY!! I have no photos from that day so I'll explain the above two photos, just to compensate. See, how nice I am heh. Okay the day the above two photographs shown, escapes me but I went to GOMA. This was the first time I went to see their new exhibition and I regretfully must admit I was disappointed. I miss the Wall of Wishes, swimming pool, balloon room and the bird room just to name a few of the past items. This exhibition focuses on the history of the Torres Strait Islands. And though interesting enough, it really isn't my type of thing. However, me and my friend chanced upon finding the kid's room and we made the above portraits. It was really entertaining. I must go back. Which reminds me, I need to photocopy the portraits.

I have no doubt that I have the most generous, amazing, awesomes (insert other praiseworthy compliments) sister. Being the younger sister AKA the spoilt brat, my sister gets really irked everytime I wear her clothes (especially without permission). Knowing this, she gave 17 dresses!! That she says 'I'll never wear again 'cause I'm too old.' YES!! I LOVE THAT SHE'S OLD!! AND RICH!!! Heh kidding she is quite young. Moving on, most of her dresses were either not my style, too big, too small or too long. However, there are quite a few decent ones, some of which are shown in the three photographs above.
So far in the holidays I've seen far too many movies resulting in decreased funds. I've seen Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides, Kung Fu Panda 2, X Men: First Class, Super 8 and Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.

This is probably the lengthiest blog I've written so far in this url. However, I felt like it owed it because 1. I should blog more frequently (and I will) 2. I have no reason not to blog since I'm holidays (I'm lazy) and 3. I need to document my life so I can later laugh at how I thought I was soo cool (and nerdy).

not even

I went to Suitcase Rummage today and I purchased more clothes than previously. The only item of interest is a maxi skirt I bargained for only $5 and the brand new shoes (which can't be seen clearly) for only $10. The items are mostly really cheap but you just have to look really deep and there's no guarantee that the clothes are clean. I always feel the need to clean my hands after I 'rummage.'

I didn't realize until scrutinizing the maxi but it makes my hips look huge. Oh wells.

Of this and that

This is my hair in all it's glory, pssh. Unfortunately as you can see, my hair has become dry and split ends increase by the dozen. Oh wells, it's good to try new things. Money buys experience.

Okay time for my favourite quotes in the Bitterbynde Trilogy and yes, it is a soppy romance.

Ah but I must recollect - prejudice is merely the shield of the self-loving.

Unremembered , yesterday is extinct.
Without yesterday, today has no meaning.
Who are you, if forgotton?
Who are you, but the sum of your memories.

If you are the lantern, I am the flame; If you are the lake, then I am the rain; If you are the desert, I am the sea; If you are the blossom, I am the bee; If you are the fruit, then I am the core; If you are the rock, then I am the ore; If you are the ballad, I am the word; If you are the sheath, then I am the sword.

High expectations are a necessary perequisite for bitter disappointment.

Love makes heroes of ordinary fellows, princes of commoners, Faeran of mortalkind. In the eyes of all lovers the beloved transcends the mundane, forsakes all flaws and becomes supernatural.

The measure of happiness is merely the difference between expectations and outcomes. It is not concerned with what one possesses - it is concerned with how content one is with what one possesses.

dull wonder

Just regretfully sent a text message to my friend informing her of my intention to not watch a movie with our group ): It's the distance of said movie location. For by the time I transfer to Cultural Centre, it'll be 10.30pm meaning that the earliest I'll be at home is 11pm. Thus, leaving at 4.50pm to get home at 11pm to watch a movie portside is not really my cup of tea. Even though at the moment I'm drinking hot chocolate, heh.
Even so, the image above may seen unnecessary, but it depitcs the outfit I would have worn if I had the patience and motivation to attend tonights' event. Yet, ironically, I have the patience and motivation to camwhore my wouldbe outfit.

I've been trying to squeeze in much study into my days, sleep early rise early, read and just general internet. However, I'm beginning to feel that there's not enough time in my days to do things I want to do and as ever, UMAT lurks in the back of my mind. I need to focus and remain focussed.

Well of Tears

Had done absolutely nothing of academic importance yesterday. Except read. I've reimbursed myself into a chronicle which I have read once before, yet back then, I didn't appreciate it. Now I am in love with this series and I plan to buy it (when I have the proceeds).

I'm onto third book, having finishing the preceding books in the previous two days and my favourite quote so far has to be

"We love, while knowing that someday our love might be lost forever. We laugh as
we stride along, even while recognising that doom lies at the end of the road.
We give, while comprehending that in the end t'will all be taken away.
We are nothing less than heroes"

I've decided that in this blog I'm going to write in such a way that reveals my inner nerd and express how I feel without fear of judgement or embarrassment, perhaps even retribution.